


Boy Soldier of the Apocalypse Falls in Love With An Angel

by AllFuckedUpOnLove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x12, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Slow Burn, Vessels, everyone is hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9870974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllFuckedUpOnLove/pseuds/AllFuckedUpOnLove
Summary: Takes place after 12x12 "Stuck In The Middle (With You)"Cas is back home, and he tries to elaborate on his recent exclamations of love, but Dean isn't having it.Can Cas get Dean to open up and see the love that is between them?One shot.





	

**Boy Soldier of the Apocalypse Falls in Love With An Angel**

 

“Hey, Cas. How are you feeling?” Dean sat a cup of coffee in front of Castiel. The angel sat at the table in the bunker, cloaked in one of Dean’s fuzzy robes. 

 

“Well, my stomach has been lacerated, I’m pretty sure my ribs are broken, and I vomited up black goo, so, I’d say I’m doing pretty great.”

 

“Great! Told you, you’d bounce right back.”

 

Dean walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. Cas sat silently, staring at the mug of black coffee. Dean closed the fridge door and noticed his friend sitting somberly. 

 

“Or not. What’s going on, Cas.” Dean sat in the seat across from Cas, opening his beer and taking a swig. Cas continued to look down at the table. 

 

“I almost died, Dean.” 

 

“We all almost die. It’s sort of a right of passage around here. You might as well get used to it, cause that’s par for the course.” Dean tried to joke, but Cas didn’t laugh.

 

“This wasn’t a near miss, I really could’ve died, Dean.”

 

Dean chewed away the frown that threatened to spread across his face. 

 

“Right. You could’ve. But you didn’t.” 

 

The room fell silent again as Dean continued to sip his drink. He watched Cas fiddle with a loose string on the sleeve of the robe, still ignoring his coffee.  

 

“You might want to drink that before it gets cold-”

 

“I meant what I said,” Cas interrupted. 

 

Dean nodded his head, “And what was that?”

 

“I know I said it to everybody,” Cas began, voice getting quiet, “But I meant it more…”

 

“Let me stop you right there.” Dean stood up, the moment too awkward, too close to being honest, for him to handle. 

 

Cas leaned forward, wincing a little as pain shot through his side. He silenced all the doubt that was screaming in his head, and just said what he needed to say.

 

“I love you.”

 

Dean halted mid-step. Cas could feel his heart trying to leave his chest. This was everything like the first time he said it, and nothing like it at all. This was private. This was intimate. There was no hiding under the cover of others. Dean shook his head, before proceeding to walk over to the sink. He didn’t say anything, and that made Cas’s heart plummet. 

 

“Can you at least say something?” Cas asked, nervously. His voice wavering and meek. 

 

“Why do you have to do this?” Dean said, leaning on the sink. He let out a deep breath.

 

“Do what?” Cas asked.

 

“This!” Dean threw his hands up. “This ‘I love you’ crap. You’re my best friend Cas. That’s how we’ve always been, that’s how it’s going to be. Why do you want to mess that up?”

 

Cas stared at Dean. It was like looking in a mirror. Glassy eyes, flushed face, tight jaw.

 

“I care about you.” Cas looked down at the table, too embarrassed to meet the gaze of the other many any longer. “I’d give my life for you.”

 

Dean turned away.

 

“From the moment I gripped you tight, and raised you from perdition, you and I both knew that we shared a more profound bond. I’ve tried to keep how I feel hidden, but, I just can’t do that anymore. How long are you going to keep pretending  _ this _ doesn’t exist?” 

 

Dean didn’t say anything. There was a hurricane of words swirling at the back of his throat, but none of them made their way to the surface. Demons, he could fight, monsters, he could kill, but this was a battle he couldn’t win. 

 

“ _ This, _ ” Dean said, pointing back and forth between the two of them, “Doesn’t exist. It can’t exist. End of story.” He chugged the rest of his beer before grabbing another one from the fridge.  

 

“Is it because of my vessel?” Cas asked, head tilted to the side. The question left his lips before he even realized what he was asking. The conversation he was inviting into the moment wasn’t one he was prepared to have, but nonetheless, it was too late. 

 

“What?” Dean asked, the question catching him off guard.

 

“My vessel. Do you think you could love me if I was in a different vessel?” 

 

“It’s not like that Cas.”

 

“It’s not? Because that’s exactly what it seems like. You’re reluctant because of my … appearance. I can change that. I can change that for you.”

 

“You don’t have to change anything for me Cas.”

 

“But you don’t want me like this. I can be a woman. I was one before, years ago. I can be one again. Whatever you want. I can be a blonde with big tits and a nice ass if that’s-”

 

“Jesus, Cas, shut up!” Dean shouted, taking a moment to regain his composure.  “I like you for  _ you _ and that’s … It’s not … I can’t …” Dean trailed off, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. “I don’t know what to do with that. With how you, exactly, devastatingly, perfectly as you are, make me feel.” 

 

Cas didn’t know what to say. He didn’t really think about how this whole ordeal would make Dean feel. If he was being honest, he just hoped Dean would reciprocate his feelings, and they would live happily ever after. It was his fault for thinking this would go over without a hitch.

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

 

“No! It’s not right!” Dean shouted, smashing his fists into the counter. “You are the best thing that’s ever came crashing into my life, and I can’t have it. I can’t let myself get close to you. I’ll just end up ruining you, like I do everything else that’s good in my life.”

 

Cas stood up and walked over to Dean. He was hesitant as he wrapped his arms around the taller man’s waist. He pulled him tightly into a hug, breathing in the scent of soap and alcohol. 

 

“Is this ok?” 

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas. 

 

“One way or another, everyone I love ends up dead.” Dean said, trying to hold back his tears as he drooped his head over Cas’s shoulder. “I couldn’t handle getting closer to you just to have something like last night happen again. I’ve lost a lot ... but if I lose you too, man….” Dean tried to pull away, ashamed of opening up like this in front of another person.

 

“Hey. Look at at me…” Cas said in a gentle voice, pulling Dean close him. “You’re not going to lose me. And you’re not going to mess this up. We’re Team Free Will. So you get to choose what makes you happy. You get to pick your life. And I’m an honorary Winchester, which means, I have at least 3 more shots at coming back from the dead before I’m gone for good.”

 

Dean laughed, quickly wiping his face on his sleeve.  

 

“There’s that smile.” Cas said, cupping Dean’s face in his hand. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into the softness of it. It was gentle and easy, nothing malicious behind it. Cas could feel the stubble on Dean’s chin prickling against his fingers. He became fixated on the peaceful calm that seemed to wash over Dean’s face. How his eyelashes laid still atop his cheekbones and how the breath escaped from his parted lips. Dean looked absolutely beautiful. 

 

“Can I kiss you?” Cas asked, leaning in, his mouth hovering above Dean’s.

 

Dean opened his eyes, but Cas was too close to focus on. He was a blur of blue eyes and pure heaven. Dean didn’t know how to formulate the correct words, so he just nodded. 

 

His eyes quickly shut again as Cas pressed their lips together. It was warm, and tasted more like skin than Dean had anticipated. He always assumed kissing an angel would be other-worldly, but, this was better. Dean felt connected. Wanted. Loved.

 

As they broke apart, Cas felt more human than ever before. This was right, even if he knew both of them had voices in the back of their heads screaming that it was wrong. 

 

Dean ran his hand through his hair, and sighed.

 

“Boy soldier of the apocalypse falls in love with an Angel. God, it sounds like one of those crappy $3 romance novels they sell at the checkout counter.”

 

“Are you saying you’re in love with me?” Cas asked, eyebrow raised, smug as ever.

 

Dean smirked, “I’m saying, I think I deserve something good for once in my shitty life.”

 

“I couldn’t agree more.”

 

The two settled back into a loving embrace, basking in the unsure ease of something old becoming something new. 

 

“What are we going to tell Sam?” Dean asked, looking down at Cas.

 

Cas chuckled, “I’m pretty sure Sam already knows.”

 

From down the hall, a voice shouted, “Sam already knows!” 

  
  
  
~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> If you read this after I just posted it, or years from now, thanks for giving this a shot!  
> I haven't written a fic in a LONG time, so, this was just something to get me back into the mood for writing.  
> It's also my first Supernatural related fic haha  
> Hope you enjoy sad and pining Destiel as much as I do!  
> <3


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